Yes, I am actually still alive

moving stinks....even if we did just move into our dream home. I can't get organized enough to have any time for myself or to write here, and I need to for my sanity.

I am coming out of hiding for 10 things I did today....even if it is on my plain jane looking site ;)

1. I rolled out of bed and took a clarinex like I have had to the last several days if I want to ever stop sneezing and have my eyes not be swollen shut.

2. I counted my blessings, then had a nice long cry about the fact that we STILL do not have a working telephone in our home.

3. I changed 5 poopy diapers today because my youngest princess will eat NOTHING but milk and blueberries......a diet that indeed causes a lot of diapers.

4. I dodged sippy cups of milk thrown by the princess mentioned above.....when she became angry that I tried to feed her something other than blueberries.

5. I called 3 people while standing in my driveway on my cellphone b/c it is the only place I get reception.

6. I took 5 kids to Dairy Queen after church class.

7. I then shuttled them all into the bathroom when the one child that wasn't mine had a toe bleeding like he was a stuck pig. Apparently he was with his mom yesterday, and standing in front of the door at the aquatic center when someone opened it and took his toenail along with it. Of course, then my one young prince had to STEP on his friends toe today, causing him to shriek and practically pass out from blood loss. Good times. Hey, at least we had all finished our ice creams already.

8. Then I got mad at myself for not resisting the ice cream.

9. I schlepped my 4 to oldest princesses soccer game, where she played beautifully and once got smacked right in the chest by a just-kicked ball. It took her breath away, brought tears to her eyes, and she peered at me. I gave her a thumbs up, and mouthed "take a deep breath, you'll be ok" and she continued playing instead of running to me. That is a big step for her.

10. Fed them all dinner, bathed them all, checked on the baby robin in the nest by Ava's window, read bedtime stories, tucked them in, gave them all kisses, blew the bad dreams out of the prince's head for the evening, rescued 2nd oldest princesses beloved Dewey the duck from the "depths of the floor right next to her bed (LOL)" and then finally sat down . Now I am off to clean up for another day......then I am going to count my blessings again!

the power of words

it has been a hectic and crazy time for us. we have 4 kids and a dog, we're living in a rental home for this year, we're in a new town, new schools, new job, etc. The kids have been SO sick this year. We've had a total of 5 cases of strep! 2 for Danielle, 2 for Cameron and one for Ava. Cameron and Ava have it right now.....ugh

We took the kids out to eat today on the way to Milwaukee. In the crowded restaurant as we ate and practiced chaos control for our kids who were being shockingly well behaved, a complete stranger came up to me and said quietly

"We've been watching your dear family, and I just want to let you know that you have very well behaved, well mannered children"

I think I almost got teary eyed. I told the woman that she was very sweet, ad she just made my day! I mean that. In the midst of all the crap we have going on, and as frazzled as I feel, this total stranger just lifted my spirits!


I left the restaurant thinking I wanted to be more like her. So many times if I receive good service, see something wonderful or thoughtful I just think kind thoughts in my head. Why not speak up like she did today.....spread some joy and kindness? I will pay it forward :)

Melly

I'm all fired up!

Cameron's kindergarten class has 24 students. One teacher, no aide. It is too many. It's part of the reason that I feel so strongly about going in for 2 hrs each week. They NEED the help.

SInce we just moved here I am learning about how things work at this new school. Apparently, last year's kindergarten classes had 26 kids in each one. The parents got very vocal and weren't backing down, and 7 weeks into the school year, they added another class and re-organized the classes.

Yesterday was the info session for the kindergarten parents next year. The principal told the parents (one of my friends told me) that there would be 4 sections of K, and the class sizes were around 18. While I am very happy about that for my friends who have rising kindergarteners, it does make me mad that no one seemed to care about this year. The year has gone well, and Cameron's teacher is excellent, but she is human, and it would take super powers for ANY one person to effectively teach to ALL 24 kindergarteners by themself.

To top it off, there was an article in the local paper yesterday about budget cuts for our school district, and that the district would be losing 7 teachers combined. I emailed some questions to our governor about this upcoming vote for school funding and asked him HOW he could claim to have education as a priority when he was making decisions like this. Our town is growing....the population is INCREASING. How is it possible to CUT money when there are more children coming in? There are houses going up everywhere which means MORE taxes......so I want answers. I do feel somewhat uneducated on how all this works, but darn it, I will GET educated. This is ridiculous.

My neighbor across the street has a son in Cameron's grade, and she is coming over next week to discuss what we can do as parents to try to lobby for smaller classes for first grade next year. I dont want to become a parent that the school administration hates to see coming, but this is about being an advocate for my children.

And so it beigns...........

in a funk!

I am in a big one. I know it's because of our living situation, and it is driving me crazy. That sounds so snobby, I recognize that. It's not so much that I hate where we live now, I just don't feel settled. I feel like I am living in limbo and I cant get organized and into a groove. Things are breaking here.....like appliances, and it is frustrating to not be able to take charge and get things fixed. It's been a long time since we rented, and I can't say I want to do it again soon. Even if we never had a more spacious place than this, I know we are still lucky, so I try to keep things in perspective as I live with my painters white walls, broken fridge that has no working light inside and freezes things in the fridge side, and garbage disposal that sounds like the whole place is going to take flight when I turn it on.

My funk is partly due to the kids too. Danielle is almost 10, and man.....she gives us a run for our money. It's a daily occurence that I feel like I have gone wrong in parenting her and that she will never speak to me when she is older. Then I try to remember that being a kid is hard, and it is my job to be her mom first and her friend second. She lies, and she lies a lot. Even when she knows I know the truth, she will keep it up, and her stubborn self will not concede and come clean. Yesterday she was racing her sister up the stairs and got mad when Cami was winning. Danielle then grabbed Cami's ankle with both hands and tried to drag her back down. Cameron stuck up for herself and screamed at her to let go. I didnt see the incident, but then Cami got in the shower and Danielle came to me and asked to take a shower alone......after her sister "because Cami is being mean to me". I asked her why she felt like she was being mean, and she said she raced her up the stairs. Geesh......sensitive are we? I asked her what the screaming was about and she said Cameron screamed because she "touched er on the foot". Whatever. Does the THINK I was born yesterday? Even after telling her I was not THAT mad about the grabbing (although she shuldnt have done it) she kept the lie up for a good hour.....telling me over and over she did not do it. This kid is exhausting. I explained to her that the issue is NOT about the grabbing so much as it is the lack of truth. Now she lies about little things, but as she gets bigger, the lies will be about bigger things and it is my job to make sure that she knows she MUST do the right thing and tell the truth. She continued to lie to my face for quite some time, but I was not letting it go. FINALLY she sobbed and said she felt like she had swallowed a scrunched up piece of paper when she has told a lie yet she was afraid to tell the truth b/c she didn't want to get in trouble. I told her I wa sproud of her for finally admitting it, but that she still had to be punished. I told her that her punishment would have been 10 times worse if she had never told me the truth, but not nearly as severe if she just admitted what she did the first time. We talked for a good half hour after she admitted it, and it ended on a very good note....but what an ordeal!

I went to bed mentally exhausted and wondering where I have gone wrong as a mother.

then I woke up this morning and remembered one of my favorite sayings. 'There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one'

we just keep trudging along......doing the best we can.

Life can change with every breath we take

Literally. period.

Yesterday evening we went to check on the house that we're building which is getting close to being done. As we were walking through the living room, there was a knock at the front door. We haven't moved in yet, and already have a visitor, YAY! It turned out to be a future neighbor, Paul. He is building a house 4 doors down in the only other lot available on our street. We talked to him for quite some time, and I am happy to know we will have such a nice man as a neighbor. He is scheduled to move in about the same time as us. He will live there with his 2 teenage kids. Here is when the bomb dropped. Last November, he and his wife signed the loan for their house, went to lunch, were having a nice afternoon joking and just hanging out. 2 hours later she was dead. He said she was a very sick woman and no one knew. It was cancer, and she was literally gone in 2 hrs. She never had one symptom before that day, and had no idea she was sick. As my heart was breaking for this friendly man, I felt curious to ask more, but didn't.......how could I? It was SO recent, so fresh in his mind, and his composure in telling the story was incredible as it was.
Life is like a balloon waiting to pop. So fragile. Something we can never take for granted. So, when I woke up this morning, looked out the window and saw a few inches of snow, blizzard like conditions when it should be spring, I did not complain. I was thankful I have woken up and have this day to live. Thankful I can spend time with Cameron's kindergarten class this morning. Thankful for the opportunity to be a positive influence on her and her classmates even if there are 2 little boys who love to try to shock me by saying bad words. Thankful I have healthy children this day, a family who loves me as much as I love them, and thankful for all things in my life. More than anything, Paul taught me in that short conversation that life is 10% what actually happens to you, and 90% your attitude.
Now I am off to wipe some kindergarten noses! I will do it with love and patience ;)

trying to figure this out!

I'm not sure how I plan to keep up with this blogging "thing" LOL, or figure out how to even do it for that matter, but I want to try. Im not exactly the best at figuring out new things on the computer ;) I know I enjoy reading my friends' blogs though.....so here it goes!

Ten things I thought I'd never do:

1. Move back to Wisconsin. I have a husband from Miami, and I am a person that is always cold. I never thought it would happen, but it's the best decision we ever made.

2. become somewhat conservative. I was raised in a pretty liberal household and was even moreso in college. I find myself with more conservative views about most things than ever before. It suprises me, but I am who I am ;)

3. breastfeed past a year. Truthfully, I don't really want to be, but my child spits out her pacifier and dive-bombs my chest, which frankly I am shocked she can even TELL are boobs, as they have shrunk even more. What's a mom to do?

4. build a house. Our home will be done in 6 weeks and 3 days, but who's counting? It has been an amazingly exciting, annoyingly tedious process. I just want another freakin bedroom for the kids at this point. I don't care about the width of the baseboards, the style of the outlet covers or the sconces pointing up or down. I mean, I really do.....but right now I don't.

5. live through my husband's residency ;) I would never have thought that it could take someone ELEVEN years after undergrad before getting a 'real" job. He loves what he does even when he has to do it at 2 am sometimes. I guess not much can compare to that feeling of loving your career. It is certainly something to be thankful for, that's for sure.

6. be able to say with complete and total decisiveness that I am done having kids. I have nothing left in me for another infant. I would love it if I did, but my body, mind and being would revolt if I were to have another. I just don't have it in me.

7. trust a man. This is a can of worms I am too tired to open right now.

8. love to cook. I really like to experiment with cooking these days. Now, if I could just get my kids to eat something I make ;)

9. have an IUD. Birth control options for women suck. I don't love that my body is home to a Mirena, but its the least of all evils.

10. love my life so much. I am content....even with all the complaining I find myself doing sometimes. Each and every second, I know how blessed I am.