we are the dreamers of dreams. It is one of my favorite quotes.....
to me it kind of has to do with laws of attraction. What do we WANT in life? If we THINK we will fail, aren't we destined too?
I believe in that kind of stuff to some degree. I do think that life is all about attitude and how we take what is thrown our way. Can you tell I have been writing about very similar themes lately? I won't get into all the details here, but I am writing about it because I am having to work extra hard at being happy lately. I do realize how fortunate I am in my life. I have my health, 4 amazing kids, a wonderful husband, etc..........
when things happen around you that have great potential to bring you down, how do you prevent them from doing so?
I'm working hard at it lately.
very
hard
I am not a quitter. I am not a doormat. I will not let it bring me down.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
we can only control ourselves
I tell my kids this all the time. Don't worry about what someone else has done, I say......the only person you can control is yourselves. Pay attention to that voice in your head, and do what you know is right.
Unfortunately I am too naive, and think that other people feel this way too. Then I am reminded periodically that this couldn't be farther from the truth.
On Feb 2st I was in a minor car accident. The 4 kids were with me in the car, it was 5 degrees outside, and I was travelling to meet Rich for dinner. A large utility truck pulled out from a driveway RIGHT in front of me, and I was faced with the decision of hitting them perpendicularly (T-bone) or swerving and running off the road. I chose to swerve, and I hit a snowbank. I thought there was no damage to the car, but I did get out to confront the other driver. The driver of the truck immediately apologized, gave me his business card and said "Sorry, I didn't see you". There was minimal damage to the car, but I decided not to call the police, instead just taking the guys information. After all, he did just apologize! I knew I would be stuck there for 2 hrs with the police in the FRIGID temps, and with kids who had not eaten dinner. No thanks.
The car cost a thousand dollars to fix, and my insurance company informed me yesterday that the other driver said I "totally overreacted and he was not even in the road".
There isn't much I can do. My insurance company will try to fight it, but honestly....who can prove what? If I had hit him, he would be in a HEAP of trouble, and have no excuse. It also may have caused injury!
Now I am left with the bill, AND the blatant lie from the other driver. I can't MAKE someone be a good person, do the right thing, tell the truth. I am trying not to be upset, but how COULDN'T I be?
I sent an email to the company where the guy works (he was IN a company vehicle and working at the time) telling them how unfortunate it is for them that they have such a dishonest employee.
You live and you learn........
Unfortunately I am too naive, and think that other people feel this way too. Then I am reminded periodically that this couldn't be farther from the truth.
On Feb 2st I was in a minor car accident. The 4 kids were with me in the car, it was 5 degrees outside, and I was travelling to meet Rich for dinner. A large utility truck pulled out from a driveway RIGHT in front of me, and I was faced with the decision of hitting them perpendicularly (T-bone) or swerving and running off the road. I chose to swerve, and I hit a snowbank. I thought there was no damage to the car, but I did get out to confront the other driver. The driver of the truck immediately apologized, gave me his business card and said "Sorry, I didn't see you". There was minimal damage to the car, but I decided not to call the police, instead just taking the guys information. After all, he did just apologize! I knew I would be stuck there for 2 hrs with the police in the FRIGID temps, and with kids who had not eaten dinner. No thanks.
The car cost a thousand dollars to fix, and my insurance company informed me yesterday that the other driver said I "totally overreacted and he was not even in the road".
There isn't much I can do. My insurance company will try to fight it, but honestly....who can prove what? If I had hit him, he would be in a HEAP of trouble, and have no excuse. It also may have caused injury!
Now I am left with the bill, AND the blatant lie from the other driver. I can't MAKE someone be a good person, do the right thing, tell the truth. I am trying not to be upset, but how COULDN'T I be?
I sent an email to the company where the guy works (he was IN a company vehicle and working at the time) telling them how unfortunate it is for them that they have such a dishonest employee.
You live and you learn........
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
my incredible husband
its amazing. HE is amazing. Do I ever get mad at him? YES! Is he perfect? NO! How he maintains his even-keel attitude, low stress level and still manage to call me during the day and ask how I am doing is truly incredible.
Sunday night, Ava was having a baaaad night. She woke up 3 times crying, and each time I stumbled upstairs to comfort her and get her back to sleep. It was 1 am and Rich told me to bring her in bed with us if it happened again. Five minutes later she was screaming, and so I brought her to our bed. This is a big deal for Rich because while he knows SHE is more easily comforted, HE doesn't sleep well at all with all her tossing and turning.
I got her into bed, got her settled and 10 minutes later his pager went off. He glanced at it, called the number back, and talked to the ER dr. Then he flew out of bed (it was 130 am at this point) threw on his scrubs and was out the door. By the time he got back it was 3 am, and Ava was still restless in our bed. He tried to go back to sleep but I knew it was hard for him. His alarm went off at 6 am and he went to work for the day.
When he returned last night at 9 pm he said it had been a rough day. That was it.....he was tired and described the day as rough, but he had a smile on his face. I knew he was functioning on only a few hrs of sleep and had been in the hospital 14 hrs straight, and somehow he wasn't even grouchy.
I asked about the person at 130 in the morning. He said it was horrible. The ER dr KNEW the patient was having a heart attack, and a quick EKG showed big trouble so he called Rich. When Rich got there, the ER was still trying to stabilize the patient for a heart cath so Rich could open up the artery. The patient coded and Rich was helping work on him, but he passed away and never was even stable enough for the procedure. He was only in his 60's. If I had even so much as witnessed that I would have been in a bad mood for a week. He was sad about it and we talked about it for awhile. It affects him but doesn't paralyze him. Situations like that change him somehow by retaining the lessons to be learned from it, and leaving all the fears, anger and unfairness by the wayside. He has a gift for taking the good things out of a situation and recognizing the bad but not letting them define him.
I am so thankful for having him in my life. He is my rock and I don't tell him often enough.
Sunday night, Ava was having a baaaad night. She woke up 3 times crying, and each time I stumbled upstairs to comfort her and get her back to sleep. It was 1 am and Rich told me to bring her in bed with us if it happened again. Five minutes later she was screaming, and so I brought her to our bed. This is a big deal for Rich because while he knows SHE is more easily comforted, HE doesn't sleep well at all with all her tossing and turning.
I got her into bed, got her settled and 10 minutes later his pager went off. He glanced at it, called the number back, and talked to the ER dr. Then he flew out of bed (it was 130 am at this point) threw on his scrubs and was out the door. By the time he got back it was 3 am, and Ava was still restless in our bed. He tried to go back to sleep but I knew it was hard for him. His alarm went off at 6 am and he went to work for the day.
When he returned last night at 9 pm he said it had been a rough day. That was it.....he was tired and described the day as rough, but he had a smile on his face. I knew he was functioning on only a few hrs of sleep and had been in the hospital 14 hrs straight, and somehow he wasn't even grouchy.
I asked about the person at 130 in the morning. He said it was horrible. The ER dr KNEW the patient was having a heart attack, and a quick EKG showed big trouble so he called Rich. When Rich got there, the ER was still trying to stabilize the patient for a heart cath so Rich could open up the artery. The patient coded and Rich was helping work on him, but he passed away and never was even stable enough for the procedure. He was only in his 60's. If I had even so much as witnessed that I would have been in a bad mood for a week. He was sad about it and we talked about it for awhile. It affects him but doesn't paralyze him. Situations like that change him somehow by retaining the lessons to be learned from it, and leaving all the fears, anger and unfairness by the wayside. He has a gift for taking the good things out of a situation and recognizing the bad but not letting them define him.
I am so thankful for having him in my life. He is my rock and I don't tell him often enough.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
something just clicked
several months ago I promised myself I would write here more. I am very good at keeping promises to other people, not so great about keeping them to myself. Then I began what would be one of the roughest spots in my life thus far. I stumbled, I cried, I felt pitiful and I spent a lot of time questioning. My promise to myself to communicate my thoughts here went by the wayside as I allowed myself to be so consumed by what was falling apart around me.
Then the other day, something clicked. I realized what I keep telling my kids all the time was something I was not living my life by for myself. Since I know that we teach and guide more effectively through behaviors and actions then words, I decided to listen to my own advice.......
Every day when we wake up we can choose to be happy or we can choose to be unhappy. Who wouldn't CHOOSE to be happy?
In that moment of reflection a few days ago, I somehow let go of my anger and fears like letting a balloon go into the sky. I can actually CHOOSE to not let things bother me as much, to not let negativity consume me. It still goes on around me as certainly as the sun rises each morning. We were given free will by no accident so that we can make our own choices as to how we REACT to the world around us.
As for me, I wake up each day wondering what life will throw my way, all the while wondering what it will be trying to teach me. I do the best I can to show love in things I do, and not deny my fears, but wave to them in the sky where I let them go rather then let them bring me down.
Then the other day, something clicked. I realized what I keep telling my kids all the time was something I was not living my life by for myself. Since I know that we teach and guide more effectively through behaviors and actions then words, I decided to listen to my own advice.......
Every day when we wake up we can choose to be happy or we can choose to be unhappy. Who wouldn't CHOOSE to be happy?
In that moment of reflection a few days ago, I somehow let go of my anger and fears like letting a balloon go into the sky. I can actually CHOOSE to not let things bother me as much, to not let negativity consume me. It still goes on around me as certainly as the sun rises each morning. We were given free will by no accident so that we can make our own choices as to how we REACT to the world around us.
As for me, I wake up each day wondering what life will throw my way, all the while wondering what it will be trying to teach me. I do the best I can to show love in things I do, and not deny my fears, but wave to them in the sky where I let them go rather then let them bring me down.
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